Next thing you know it's Kashmiri militants blowing up helicopters, gunfights on snowmobiles, double crosses, decoded messages and people thrown off cliffs. Yet just when "Fanaa" threatens to drown you in a candy-colored sea of saccharin - this being the moment when Zooni checks into the hospital for a miraculous retina replacement - the narrative springs its trap. Credit the director, Kunal Kohli, for the old-fashioned simplicity of his storytelling, if not for his primitive sexual politics. Their insipid romance is fortified by exchanges of poetry, impromptu musical numbers and frolics through metropolitan splendor, all of which is undermined by an ugliness of spirit that allows for a delightful woman to fall (empty) head over (obedient) heels for a repugnant leading man. On arriving in Delhi to perform a spectacular song-and-dance number for the annual Independence Day celebration, she falls in love with Rehan, a smarmy, over-accessorized tour guide (Aamir Khan). We begin in the provinces, where a beautiful blind girl, Zooni (Kajol), is pitied for her lack of a husband. The epic Bollywood extravaganza "Fanaa" goes so far over the top that it reinvents itself halfway and launches on a brand new trajectory of the absurd.
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